Ian Swenson .com

Although I’m only in my mid-20s, I know how the system works. Broadcast and print media aren’t trying to inform or entertain us; they’re trying to sell us to their sponsers. They don’t care if a new show is acclaimed by the critics as long as it brings in the viewers which then brings in the advertising dollars. If a show is universally loved but not watched enough, it’s axed (ex: Arrested Development – the best sitcom ever).

So I realize that adverts are a part of life, and I have to slough through them to get to the programs I want to watch (this season it’s just Heroes, Studio 60, and Venture Brothers, though I watched Project Runway and try to watch Weeds whenever possible). Advertisements singularly aim for one goal–like the networks–to get their brandnames stuck in our head and to get us to visit them. How they go about this task varies greatly.

I don’t outright hate adverts. Some are very entertaining, or at least not annoying. Here are my criteria for quality commercials:

1. Innovation – Without innovation adverts are stale rehashes of clichés and previous adverts and are thus boring.
2. Not Pushing the Envelope – They can go too far with innovation and, admittedly, it’s a fine line. Each must draw his or her own line, and mine’s actually pretty far out there.
3. Humor/Irony – I admit humor and its black cousin, irony, are not necessary, but they do make commercials interesting. “To each his own” applies here, and what is funny to a 12-year-old boy may not be funny for my 70-year-old grandma (although, in that case they might align). However, advertisers know who their target audiences are, and generally I fall in there. So I’m a decent barometer.
4. Unexpectedness – This does not equal surprise, but instead parallels it. Commercials that set up a fresh and unexpected event generally work better.
5. Style – This is almost as important as content. Again innovation works wonders here, but having a new or “cool” style makes a commercial much easier to bear the 30th time I’ve seen it.
6. Replayability – Many commercials are intersting the first time, and nails-on-chalkboard gratingly bad the fifth. This harkens back to style.
7. Deference to Intelligence – Not every advert needs play to Frasier’s audience, but neither should they play to Will Farrell’s. Stupidity is a virtue to advertisers, and they aren’t playing to the lowest common denominator; they’re playing to their targets. However, a commercial that treats me like an idiot (because it’s aiming for them), does not a good commercial make. This one is my biggest gripe out of all the criteria.

To illustrate my points, here is a good commerical in my esteem:

http://www.ianswenson.com/v/embassysuites.flv

You’ll notice that it had (3) great humor while being (4) unexpected and (1) innovative. The joke and general congeniality makes it (6) fine to watch over and over again as it doesn’t (2) take the gag too far. Its style is pretty standard, but that’s not a plus or a minus. But it doesn’t (7) treat me like I’m an idiot.

Six out of the seven criteria. Not too bad. And the last one, style, is neither good nor bad.

Now, a bad commercial to compare:

http://www.ianswenson.com/v/dominos_browniesquares.flv

This one is not very (1) innovative as little people in suits and walking/talking food has been done. It also takes this gag (2) way too far, as the little girl looks like she just had a blast in the excremental slip-and-slide. That makes it (6) unrepeatable, as I cringe everytime I see it. The woman’s excitement over these brownies is hardly believable and (7) strains credulity. It fails miserably at its (3) attempt at humor.

This one fails with five of the seven criteria. Additionally, the others (style and unexpectedness) aren’t really pluses, especially since the unexpected moment was one of poor taste and an unbelievable reaction.

And on a side note, have you ever noticed that food in commercials looks worlds better than it does when you actually get it in real life? This has been true for me; everything looks bigger, fresher, and tastier, and when I get it it’s grayish, limp, and bland. If that principle is true, what does it say about the way these brownies look in the advert?

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Also, I located a new website dealing with commercial reviews at www.dhadm.com. He’s also seemingly from Washington state, but seems to be much nicer to commercials than me. You may have noticed I’ve pilfered a few videos from his site, I hope he doesn’t mind. I’ll give the source credit in each post where a video of his appears.